“I saw it in the recording.” [“Я видел это в записи”]

You can read a play – we tend to think of our play as a collaborative thing. All performing together, from the time we realize that in order to be accepted/loved/admired/acknowledged we must project only a part of ourselves as a shadow display to others.

I say shadow, because we turn our backs to the light that drives us and our uniqueness, while in front of us and projected to others is the shade of ourselves that we want others to see and love.

One that shadow is noticed, its shape evaluated and eventually swallowed by consuming observers who are somehow in charge of our self-worth and self-confidence – once that particle of us is accredited, we slowly add more of ourselves to it. But not to everyone.

The lucky ones get random bursts of self that come out when we’re not paying attention…when we’re paying too much attention…when we are emotional…and the lack of emotion that somehow gives away more than any dramatic outburst could.

But the script – I was looking at people and observing them and their body language conversing, friends and strangers, associates, acquaintances, couples. They change up the script, but each relationship has one. Feelings get hurt when the lines veer from that script. They shouldn’t…I’m not sure why though. Thoughts?

2 thoughts on ““I saw it in the recording.” [“Я видел это в записи”]

  1. You chose the play. You choose then to follow the script, or perhaps not. Every relationship is different, some are scripted and the roles are assigned. But one day you realize: being confined to a role isn’t all that great. G.d gave us a gift – to be able to write our own play and make our own choices. Sometimes bad ones, but that’s the game from above.
    On the other end, your emotional self drowns the other. Envelops and controls, contorting the very soul that yearns to be free. But why? no reason to play the game – for better or for worse, your are who you are.

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