she wonders how it’s possible to love more than one person at a time
and how she can possibly miss him when she’s been afraid of him.
those hazel eyes, gentle one minute as he looked at her and asked if she ever loved him.
angry when she hesitates.
frantic when he realizes she sees his anger, angry again at his own anger.
loving when she tells him of course she loves him, to soothe him.
she looks at him and feels overwhelming sadness,
wants to help him, to quiet the storm in his head,
the hurricane in his eyes, soften his clenched jaw,
ease the tension in his mountain shoulders.
how can you possibly love someone who does not know what love is?
because he’s searching so desperately. he wants to love more than anyone.
he drinks to quiet his demons. he lashes out so he doesn’t have to think,
finds empty women to fill his nights.
there’s nothing more terrifying than being alone, in the quiet, with only your destructive thoughts to keep you company.