by Ella Kleinman
A lot of my adult decisions are based on convenient parking. And by convenient parking I mean wherever I can conveniently park this ass. Gone are the days where “standing room only” appeals to me. Sometimes I wonder if everyone else has to fight through the same fatigue as I do just to… eight minutes and thirteen seconds. I can solve the expert level Sudoku on my phone in eight minutes and thirteen seconds. I’ve really only done it that quickly once. I didn’t use my one “hint” but the numbers were kind of set up in an advantageous way so there was less leg work; or rather, finger work (I know— shh), behind that one time so I feel like I don’t really deserve that best of a time. I used to make it a point to delete games off my phone because I would get so worked up about beating my highest score or my best time and I would just sit there with stiff arms so far into the night that… I like the moment during takeoff when the world goes all slanted through the peephole of a window. I like to try and trick my mind into believing that maybe that’s the way things are now. I’ve been hauled into a world where right side up is slanted side down. I used to like to do the same thing while hanging upside down off the couch. The ceiling was my floor and that’s the way it always had been. Up was down and I had no right to question it. For my make-believe games, I really tried to make myself believe. I maybe got a little too forceful with that at times. Imagine an eight year old, mad at herself for not being able to fully convince herself to entirely believe some random made up shit. It was kind of… Maybe I won’t need to find a parking spot some time. Touch down and realize how fast I can go. Maybe I’ll aggressively convince myself of that.
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