All the Moments

by Sara Safyan

So, I recently read an article about death. I’m not really all that scientific-y and can’t remember the phrasing of what fires in the brain when and why and whatnot, but, essentially, everyone who has had those near death experiences universally describes the same thing: an overwhelming feeling of peace and calm.

I think love is a little like death. Now, obviously this isn’t the best analogy (as the man I love lovingly pointed out to me; one can fall in love multiple times, although death seems to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime type of deals). But I remember the moment I knew I loved my husband to be a peaceful one. Walking in Central Park, some day in early spring, as the sunlight shone weakly through the trees. I looked over at him and a feeling of peace washed over me, like a forced breath of fresh air. True, there weren’t any bright lights. No signs flashing ‘THIS IS THE ONE, DON’T BE AN IDIOT.’ But there was that undeniable sense of calm, like coming home.

And then there’s a lifetime of those moments. Not all of them are calm, but in each one, you just know. The moment he brushes the hair out of your face for no reason; the hug in the middle of the night when you’re only half awake to realize; the clean kitchen after a long day; holding hands in the middle of a dark theater; the crooked smile that only you see; the random dance party while making dinner; landing after a long trip in a foreign city with his hand on your knee; watching him put a baseball cap on before heading out the door; falling asleep on the couch only to see him still reading in the same spot by your feet 2 hours later.

I think, like death, love is probably different for each person. Some are quick instances of falling in love, some are more long and protracted. Some you don’t even see coming. Some have all the emotions and some feel numb. Some feel calm, and probably some don’t.

For me, I knew I was in love because love was in all the moments, the small ones, the big ones, the calm ones, the harsh ones, the telling-you-your-analogy-sucks ones. And that’s when you know. When you go through all the moments, and you come out the same, your love is there each time, growing, growing.

You can connect with Sara and view her design work on her website.

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