by Missy Martinez
The word “love” conjures pressure. From the moment we are born, one of the first sentences we hear is “I love you.” How do we wrap our heads around a word that is (possibly) the most powerful one in the world? The answer: not easily.
My experience with love has been has been an on and off again relationship. From my formative dating years, I never heard the words “I love you” from beaus, suitors and so-called “boyfriends.” The word became one I felt relinquished that would never be heard. That would soon change.
When I was 16, I was on a website (now dead on gone) that was an interactive, chat based game. You could create music, buy items for your “virtual house” and interact with fellow users. I happened upon another user with a clever screen name and struck up a conversation. We would log on at the same time daily, get to know each other and eventually we had a full-fledged relationship. Online interactions turned into letters, which evolved into 7 hour long phone calls every evening. The gentleman I was talking with for lengthy amounts of time (unbeknownst to me) was my soul mate. He is 1 week younger than I and when he graduated high school, he hopped on a plane from the opposite end of the country, flew out to me and we’ve been together ever since.
That was the was the easy part.
We’ve been together for 17 years (married for 15) and each day is a new adventure. We fight about the most mundane, flippant and irrelevant things. For example: I load the dishwasher like a piece of shit and he’s a dick that refuses to pick his socks up off of the floor. Tragic, right? We have fought loud, angry and harshly a few times throughout our relationship. We have conquered huge obstacles in our marriage, topics and situations that most couples crumble under. He has saved my life on more than one occasion. He accepts my imperfections and I his. We have laughed, cried, yelled and screamed together for almost 20 years. He is an extension of my being and I (better be) his.
Love is a full-time job. Love is not 50/50- love is 100/100.
Every day that I wake up next to him is the best day. The feeling I get when I open my eyes and see his tussled bedhead fills me completely. Love has a temperature (like a warm bath.) Love has a smell (his evening musk.) Love has a sound (his heartbeat.)
You can connect with Missy on Twitter.
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