Staring at the tiles Spreadsheets Blinding screens Made brighter by the overwhelming headlights of my own expectation. Sans motivation. How can I earn a vacation when I'm on the brink of humiliation, when my mind is devastation, consumed with creation and elation yet stifled by industrialization. When my eyes think, blink, bending over the sink … Continue reading An Exercise in Forgiveness
Tag: calm
Greenhouse
Surrounded by city smells, gas and fast food, bacon in the mornings, BBQ in the evenings, the noise, cacophony, beating at my ears not remotely near the desperate tapping of the pulse at my throat a tree canopy, startlingly green, marred by the zooming vehicles and the incessant beeping of the deafening, jarring, angry morning … Continue reading Greenhouse
Jasmine Milk Tea
Drinking tea and watching adult swim. yelling at the hockey players on the TV, and pausing to make fun of the other team. Falling asleep on the wrong sides of the bed because we were busy watching cartoons, laughing and waking up in the middle of the night to switch places because your side is … Continue reading Jasmine Milk Tea
Up
My head is never where I expect it to be I let it do its own thing and hang on for the ride a white water rafting adventure, picture it now cool, calm water letting you lean back and forget where you are for the moment then the wind changes and you’re almost thrown off … Continue reading Up
Letting Go of the Wall
I had a crazy moment the other day. Well, it’s been a seemingly endless string of crazy moments, building up on one another to create this precarious tower that shook and rattled until it came crashing down – that’s what anxiety attacks feel like. You know exactly what’s happening, when it springs up on you. … Continue reading Letting Go of the Wall
Reaching Stillness
There are few things in life that are more soothing to me than coloring. Coloring. Markers, crayons, colored pencils, chalk. Anything. And so I have decided to write about it, for the sake of writing about it - and it'll all be in organized little lines, like my poems or prose pieces. In the turmoil … Continue reading Reaching Stillness
A 5 Minute Search for Peace
I try to find my "inner self," my "center" (feeling knowledgeable because I read about it - some hippie article online) So - I close my eyes. Breathe, they said to breathe, listen to your heartbeat. I can't find it. and then I realize - I left my heart at home, under a pile of … Continue reading A 5 Minute Search for Peace
Successfully Pushed
at times, i find myself wondering how you’re doing and if i’m allowed to be wondering how you’re doing and if i can reach out, maybe call and ask? but you chased me away about 5 times and after a while, y’know, i start to realize that i’ve been successfully pushed because the other day … Continue reading Successfully Pushed
Tarnished Silence, No Longer Gold
I believe I’ve become too reliant on the company of others. It’s gotten to where I cannot find a moment of peace because my past self has already scheduled time for every day of the week with various people, with whom I don’t want to lose touch. If I’m not texting someone, I’m distracting myself … Continue reading Tarnished Silence, No Longer Gold
Boundless.
Complete silence. After two hours of struggle upwards Resting at the peak, seeing everything for miles. And miles. Nothing but the wind and an unspoken consensus to remain silent Savoring the moment. Hearts rise with the sun, Inexplicable tears on some faces, perfect calm on the majority. This is Freedom. Everything untainted by gasoline, electricity, … Continue reading Boundless.
